A Clown's Smile
by NothingShortOfTragic
Summary: The Joker & Harley are--of course--up to their old tricks.
1. Chapter 1: The Pick Up

**A/N: My first Batman fic, there may be typos. Hope you enjoy. :)**

* * *

Harley Quinn lifted her leg and kicked with all her might, her small foot connected with the door. It burst open, one of it's hinges broken clean off. She gave a tiny giggle, and entered the home. Although it was quite dark, she walked easily through the home of Angela Myers. Upon entering the living room she stopped and peered out the floor-to-ceiling window's. Gotham's cold skyscrapers decorated her view, making a emotionless city scape. She touched the glass lightly with her fingers, losing herself in thought for a moment. When a woman's shaky voice disturbed her train of thought.

"Wh-what do you want?" Harley's gaze left the window and was met with a young woman, holding a high heeled shoe. 

"I want you, sug." A wide smile broke across her porcelain face, her cerulean eyes narrowing. 

"What?" Angela asked, aghast. 

Harley used her sofa as a brace, and smoothly flipped over it, then using her coffee table as a stepping-stone she was soon standing mere inches from the trembling brunette.

"Get away from me." She warned, holding the sharp heel of the shoe as her makeshift weapon.

"Don't be silly, sweets. Mista J asked me to pick you up, so ya gotta come with me." Harley was hunched over, ready to pounce. 

Angela backed away until they were both standing in her darkened bedroom. 

"Come on, Doll-face, I don't got all night." Harley stated in her thick New York accent.

The clown pulled a tiny compressed bottle from her boot, "Open wide." She cackled as she sprayed a mist of chloroform into the woman's face.

Angela dropped abruptly to the floor. Harley hastily lifted her unconscious body. She turned and was about to leave the room when she stopped at the sight of something shiny in Angela's closet. Harley dropped the girl heavily onto the floor and more closely inspected the object through the half-opened door. Pushing it open she blindly moved towards the objects, sticking her hands into the dark she returned from the closet with a glittering jewelry box. Taking a seat on the rumpled covers of Angela's bed, Harley gingerly opened the box. A gasped escaped her lips as she removed a lovely strand of glossy pearls. Instantly jumping from the bed she hurried to a nearby mirror, and by the light of the moon she fastened the pearls around her neck. 

"Drop dead gorgeous!" She exclaimed, running her fingers over the silky white orbs. 

She glanced back to the limp form of Angela, thinking to herself, 

_Much to exquisite for that broad._

Smiling at her clownish appearance, she turned back to her assigned task. Mista J had sent her to a condo in downtown Gotham to retrieve the lovely Ms. Myers as she was Robin's new gal and J had a plan to smite the Bat once and for all, and little Angie was to be an essential part of all plans; the bait. It was a simple and rather over-done plan, but it seemed to lure him into bosses clutches each & every time. Harley lifted the woman over one shoulder and began to make her way through the apartment. Suddenly the sound of shattering glass filled the apartment. The huge window's in the living room had been broken, Harley turned towards the sound as small bits of glass fell around her. The sight of a bat with it's wings extended, a terrifying silhouette, swooped towards her. She gasped and made a quick move for the front hallway.

"Not so fast, Harley." Batman stood in the living room, just feet from the shaken clown-girl.

"Whatcha gonna do, Bats?" She asked playfully, edging towards the hallway, Angela still over her shoulder.

"Put her down." He advanced on her slowly, "Come on, Harley don't do this. She's an innocent girl."

"Not to me." She replied, "She's collateral." Harley attempted to run to the door, but was significantly slowed by the unmoving figure she carried. 

Batman fired a Bat-Bola towards Harley's feet. It flew through the air and wrapped tightly around her ankles. She tumbled to the floor, Angela followed, flopping onto the carpet near her. 

"Ugh!" Harley rolled over and quickly cut the nylon ropes with a pocket knife.

Beside her, Angela had started to come out of her chemical-induced slumber.

"Whatsamatterwitchoo?" She ordered, rising from the floor, her accent thickening in the heat of her anger.

"You're kidnapping a helpless girl. What does the Joker want with her anyway?" He asked, already having an idea, but seeing if she would take the bait.

She did.

"Word on the street is that Ms. Myer is Robin's new sweetheart." Harley replied, "She's leverage." The clown-girl added.

Suddenly Robin ascended from a ledge above the broken window, "Way to blow the plan, Harley." He sneered.

She felt her cheeks flush until they matched that of her crimson suit. She awkwardly adjusted her white, puffed cuffs, and glanced at her captive.

Angela stirred, nearing consciousness.

"Oh darn." She remarked, kneeling and grabbing a cashmere scarf that hung on a hook near her. She swiftly tied the scarf around the girl's wrists. 

"I'd love to stay and chat with you boys, but I gotta job to do." She removed a gun loaded with tranquilizers, from a holster on her calf, "And ya gotta do, what ya gotta do, right?" She smiled broadly, whilst shooting two darts. One hit Batman squarely in the neck, while the other clipped Robin's cheek. 

Harley gathered up the brunette, and waltzed from the apartment.


	2. Chapter 2: Home Sweet Home

**A/N: Don't mind the typos. Enjoy! :)**

Harley turned the key in the ignition, the engine of the small white roadster revved to a start. This woke Angela, she looked around, clearly confused.

"Hey, toots." Harley gave her a small wave, "We're off to Mista J's." She pressed the gas peddle and they sped wildly from the underground parking lot. Angela hastily fastened her seatbelt and gripped the door handle.

They swerved out into the street, causing other cars to come to screeching halt's from both sides. Once they had regained some kind of direction, Angela gathered up her courage and asked the clown-girl, "Who's Mr. J?"

"Don't you read the papers, lady?" Harley inquired, "The _Joker_. The Clown Prince of Crime?" She asked, quoting a recent headline.

"What does he want with me?" The moment the words left Angela's lips the revving of another engine could be heard over the commotion.

"Bird-boy." Harley growled, adjusting her rear-view mirror so she could see Robin gaining rapidly on them.

"Hold on." Harley flashed the petrified woman a crazed smile, and stepped on the gas.

She swerved onto an on-ramp and was soon tearing up the highway with Robin in pursuit.

"Why are you doing this?" Angela cried, pushing herself into the seat and white-knuckling the door handle.

"It wasn't my idea." Harley admitted, "You're bait, for ya boy." She winked, then swerved to the sound of a honk. "Personally, I think this whole idea is old news, but what can I say? Mista J's probably got something flashy set up for ya." Harley sing-songed, bobbing her head from one side to the other; her hat jingled cheerily.

Suddenly Robin was directly beside them, the clown girl sped recklessly onto the shoulder and soon left the free-way altogether. Robin held his speed and stole quick glances at the terrified girl in the passengers seat. A large drainage pipe was in front of them. Harley entered it without slowing.

"Angela!" Robin called, but had to stop as he couldn't fit into the pipe parallel to them.

Robin sighed, his adrenaline slowly drained. A hard ball of anxiety formed in the pit of his stomach, he swallowed. He knew that the drainage pipes of Gotham were a maze of tunnels, and without maps he could easily become lost. He turned his bike around and sped back to Angela's condo.

* * *

"That was pretty easy." Harley remarked, pulling into an unused section of the pipe. She exited the car, and removed Angela. They walked along the drippy pipes, the floors were slippery and thick with slime.

"Where are we going?" The brunette asked.

"Home, sweet home." Harley responded, leading the girl from behind.

They soon came upon a door, which led to a staircase going downward. At the foot of the curving staircase was an open room, with walls of stone.

"Puddin'?" She called, plopping Angela onto a chez.

"Yes, snookums?" A reply came from another room.

"You stay put now," Harley pointed at the girl, then left to greet the Joker.

Her eyes darted about the room, there wasn't much to it. Soaring ceilings made the room cold, and impersonal. The grey stone walls had elegant purple fabric draped down them. A bed lay at one end of the room, Persian carpets covered the icy stone floors. A door was at the far end, it was half open. Without meaning to, Angela was privy to the conversation between her abductors.

* * *

Batman slowly regained consciousness. His vision was blurry, but he rose anyway. Holding his head, he leaned against a chair for balance.

"Robin?" He called.

Nothing.

Walking towards the shattered window, he shook his head a final time and shot his grappling hook towards a nearby building. Night still held firm over the city, much like it held, firm over his head. He swung through the air landing silently on the roof of a building. He searched the sky for the signal, but there was none.

He thought of Angela, the poor girl would be terrified out of her wits by now. Although the plan seemed incredibly simple and uncreative, the Joker always had something up his sleeve. It was strange, but soon he found his mind settling on the topic of Harley. Once a successful psychologist, now an accomplice to kidnaping? Her pursuit of the Joker's love and affection was fruitless, yet she stayed by his side.

It was clear to him that deep inside she missed real love. Not the selfish, self-serving kind that the Joker was capable of giving. In an odd way, Batman could relate to Harley. In some way, he felt he understood her.

* * *


End file.
